Been missing for the past few weeks.. Was once again back to depression mode. Been feeling moody for the past few weeks and was trying very hard to search for encouragement words to boost my morale up.. But they dun seems to work on me anymore.. But i'm still trying..

Went for OB training last week and had dinner together with some OB seniors. One of them ask me.. " Did you ever think of joining the next committee?" If this question was asked few weeks ago.. I will tell him that "I want to be in the next committee!" But now.. Though i still wanna be in there but i doubt my ability.. 14th comm cannot have a President or Vice president that gives up so easily and get so emotional easily.. That is unforgivable.. The rest of 13th Comm will do a better job than me.. Where is my confident? I dunno.. Before fighting and going for it.. I have lost.. Not to anyone else but myself.. I lost to myself.. I'm still searching for them.. Searching for my confident.. I dunno..

I'm a loser afterall.. When i need someone by my side.. I see no one.. Not even my so call close friend. Not a single one to seek help... Sound pathetic huh? Everyone has forgotten the presence of me.. Trying so hard to fit in.. But i still fail afterall.. I'm so insignificant..