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Tuesday, May 16, 2006; 5/16/2006 11:33:00 PM

Weird and complicated...

Just came back from school.. Had a heart talk section after meeting with my comm members. We are suppose to voice out abt our post and give each other comments and things to improve on.. I listen while the others comment about me.. They mention tat sometime i'm too straight forward and some words that i said were actually quite blunt.. Okie.. I wun deny tat fact.. Cos i do admit tat i'm a straightforward person.. But i just dun like to keep things to myself.. Why be someone tat u are not in front of others? Sometimes i start to ponders.. Who are those that are actually my friends? Friends tat like me for who i am.. Like me for being straightforward, loud and etc.. Friends i do have a lot.. But best friends? I'm clueless.. Reality is cruel.. Sometime, the person tat u trust lots maybe the same person tat back stab u.... Haiz.. People always say it is best to be yourself.. But when u are being yourself, some people just dun like tat character of urs.. What to do? If u please them, u are not happy as u are not being yourself.. It's all so weird and complicated...

Tat night was talking to him about leaving Singapore.. Suddenly i just got the feeling to leave everything behind and leave for other country.. I just wanna escape to some where that no one knows me.. I'm tired.. What exactly i'm tired about.. I dunno.. I always try to put a strong face in front of others.. Telling them i'm really alright.. But am I really alright? Who really understand what i'm going through? Nvm.. I dun even know who i actually am.. Argh..

I dunno what i'm talking about oso.. I'm like walking aimlessly down a dark path.. Trying all my best to find that little source of light.. Haiz..